


The Many Uses Of The Svitz Army Knife

by ChangelingChilde



Category: Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: Fic resource, Gen, List Fic, Spot The H2G2 Reference, Technically Has No Actual Characters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-19
Updated: 2017-07-19
Packaged: 2018-12-04 04:12:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11547237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChangelingChilde/pseuds/ChangelingChilde
Summary: Because 'Svitz' sounds like 'Swiss' and I felt the fandom could use this.





	The Many Uses Of The Svitz Army Knife

The Hundred-Item Svitz Army Knife is a very useful device. It is lovingly created with the best in transuniversal technology and the benevolence of a Smiling God, and it contains the following:

  1. Knife
  2. Pen and paper
  3. Cookie tin
  4. Can opener
  5. Toaster
  6. Flamethrower
  7. Water bottle
  8. Oar
  9. Live cat
  10. Ruler
  11. Spork
  12. Clock
  13. Nine-leaf clover
  14. Cardboard box
  15. Bathrobe
  16. Chainsaw
  17. Old map
  18. Hair tie
  19. Horror novel
  20. Toothbrush
  21. Corkscrew
  22. Tweezers
  23. Nail clippers
  24. Magnifying glass
  25. Hedge trimmer
  26. Air freshener
  27. Fishing pole
  28. Clean underwear
  29. New, relevant map
  30. AA battery
  31. Straight razor
  32. Random key
  33. Most of a deck of cards
  34. Saw
  35. Portable hole
  36. Hand
  37. Poker chips
  38. Arrow
  39. Paintbrush
  40. Camera film
  41. Glove
  42. Towel
  43. Extra sock
  44. Tiny scissors
  45. Half a toothpick
  46. Last week's horoscope
  47. Soap
  48. Rocket launcher
  49. Last two letters of a neon sign
  50. Left side of a Christmas tree
  51. Pillow
  52. Candy bar
  53. Mattress
  54. Apple seeds
  55. Cane
  56. Backscratcher
  57. Coathanger
  58. Length of copper wire
  59. Religious symbol
  60. Mousetrap
  61. Doorknob
  62. Bottle opener
  63. Wrench
  64. Compass
  65. Fish scaler
  66. Level
  67. Screwdriver
  68. Cigar
  69. Condom
  70. Pliers
  71. Medicine bottle
  72. Laundry machine
  73. Patented sheep-shearing device
  74. Flashlight
  75. Eyepatch
  76. Watering can
  77. Pet rock
  78. Juicer
  79. Pizza cutter
  80. Disco ball
  81. Plate
  82. Drill bit
  83. Tent peg
  84. Plastic bag
  85. Phonebook
  86. Calculator
  87. Rolodex
  88. Sole of a shoe
  89. Silly string
  90. Fire extinguisher
  91. Ice cube tray
  92. Bandages
  93. Glue
  94. Origami crane
  95. Fresh flowers
  96. Axe
  97. Deodorant spray
  98. Lightbulb
  99. Sunglasses
  100. A thing your grandmother gave you that you don't know what it is



Buy a Strex-brand Svitz Army Knife by last Thursday or you will never see your family again.


End file.
